Loops and Thread (Sewing Up Tears With a Dull Needle)

I don't understand why relationships with people are so fragile.
I don't understand why I can't seem to get these things right.
Everything balances on the edge of a knife, it seems.
I try my best to be kind, to be friendly, to be good and honest, but for some reason I cannot get it right.
Then things get complicated and heated, angry words are exchanged and I sin and fall and everything I've ever tried to build just comes crashing to the unforgiving ground.
Sometimes I have hope for myself. Because some of my relationships, my friendships are going well. Yet somehow, there's always a few that I can't get right. Maybe I come back and apologize, but all I am met with is cold silence. I leave the door open, but no one is planning on coming back in. Did I really mean that little to you? Is this my fault?
Some I just cannot handle the pain. It is a vicious cycle of fighting hurting, crying, making up and then just going back to the hurt and crying again. I do not believe it is my fault, but that sounds horrible to say. I am a believer in second chances, but when we got to about the hundredth things started to become impossible. So I said goodbye, and believe me, I plan on coming back... but when I left the door slammed shut behind me. If I am ever to come back, I will be standing in the cold begging for someone to let me in.
Why must I always be on the edge of that knife? All these closed doors, they hurt. They hurt my heart because these are people I loved. People I loved so, so much. Yet somehow I am always losing. How on earth am I to know if it is my wrong or not?
All I know is that I always seem to come up short and end up alone.
I wish I knew what it was I always seem to be doing wrong. Perhaps I am not honest enough? Perhaps I am not sensitive enough? Perhaps I am just a terrible person?
I cannot tell, sometimes.
But I trust that my sins will be revealed to me in time.
So I pray.

Judging A Book By Its Cover

This blog was brought about my recent attempts to find a decent title for my books. Titles are the bane of my existence, the Joker to my Batman, the Darth Vader to my Luke Skywalker, the Master to my Doctor.
Perhaps I'm exaggerating.
But I digress.
This post is all about titles and covers. First impressions are majorly important. Titles can't just be randomly generated or thought up on the spur of the moment (if you can do so, however, you are either not getting an original title, or you're very lucky).
Here I'm going to post my opinions on 10 different book covers and titles, to tell you what I feel was done right and what was done wrong. Some of these are books I have yet to read, some are books I have checked out from the library, some are from my personal library.
(DISCLAIMER: These are not book recommends. Some of them are books I enjoy, others my be ones I do not approve of. Keep this in mind.)

1)To Kill A Mockingbird

Harper Lee

I know this book has many different covers, but this is the one I saw when I checked this book our from the library. Let's just talk about the title for a moment. To Kill A Mockingbird. It immediately made me curious about  what's going on. Mockingbird? What? Why kill one? What's going on? I think it is a brilliant title for an absolutely brilliant book.

2)I Am Number Four

Pittacus Lore

This book. Alright, I will put aside my fangirling about how much I love this series long enough to talk about the title and cover of the first book. To be honest, I had never heard of this book. I simply saw it at my local house of wonders (library) and picked it up. Because of the title. I Am Number Four. Why is this significant? Why does being number four matter? Then you see the text at the top: Three are dead. Alright so, number four is next in line to die. But what has he done? Who is he?

This is what a good title does. It makes you ask questions.

Bonus points for the color scheme of the cover. The orange, black, yellow, and white works well together.

My only qualm is that the name of the book and the author's name rhyme. But that's just a picky little thing that's not a real problem.

3) All Our Yesterdays

Cristin Terrill

This book forever wins my heart with its title simply for the fact that it is a quote from Shakespeare's Hamlet.

I mean, come on. Awesomeness.

However, the cover is amazing as well. It subtly implies what this story is all about: time travel. Coming from a total sci-fi nerd who is writing her own book about time travel, it immediately intrigued me. The clock on the ground stands out starkly against the black-white-blue background.

4) The False Prince

Jennifer A. Nielsen

This title screams fantasy. And personally, I would not choose most any title with the word "prince" or "princess" in it. Now, there are some exceptions (Clockwork Prince/Princess), but overall it's overdone to the point of being ineffectual. 

Despite the name being rather generic, it does make me ask questions. What's false about the prince? Choose to lie or choose to die? What's all that about?

The crumbling crown is very effective, in my opinion. I believe it sets an image in one's mind that is very strong and very gripping.

5) Delirium

Lauren Oliver

A reader, when looking at a book, will normally glance at the cover, then the inside of the cover, then the first page.

I never got past the cover of this book.

Alright, alright. Now this could be a fabulous book. Maybe it's the best book ever. If it is and you think so, there's a comment section below this post where you are free to chide me for my ignorance.

I looked at this book and put it back down. The title did a sort of half-grab. I was curious, but when I saw the cover two words sprang to mind that caused me to quickly replace it on the shelf.

Romance. Novel.

Perhaps I am wrong, but all I can think when I see this cover is that I am about to read a romance novel. This is the reason I have yet to read the book. Covers can turn a reader off. And very easily.

6) Radical

David Platt

No. This is not a novel. This is not fiction.

There is a point to be made here, I assure you.

Titles and covers matter no matter what kind of a book you are writing. Maybe it's a Christian life book, like this one.

The title grabs you. Radical. Radical... what? Taking Your Faith Back From The American Dream. Wait... what? The American Dream has my faith? What is this dude talking about? It makes me ask very good questions.

The cover is beautiful and simple. The upside-down house holds a picture of your entire life being turned head over heels, and the orange makes it a very easy book to find.

7) Great Expectations

Charles Dickens

This is another book with many, many different covers. But what I want to talk about here is the title.

Great Expectations. What great expectations? For what? Or whom?

These are all good questions to get your reader engaged and curious about what your title means, which in turn gets them curious about your book.

8) Looking For Alaska

John Green

Let me go ahead and say that I only read half of this book and do not plan to read any of Mr. Green's other books. Ever. I may state my reasons in a later blog post.

That aside, this is a clean, good cover. The smoke is beautiful, white against black. The title is what drew me to this book. Looking for... what? Alaska? It's kind of hard to miss. Why is someone looking for Alaska? Get an atlas, buddy. It's intriguing and does the job of a good title perfectly.

9) The Hobbit

J. R. R. Tolkien

Ahhh.... the Lord of the Rings. One of my all time favorite series of books ever. 

The Hobbit. It's simple and easy to remember, begging one major question: what on earth is a Hobbit? And why is "the" Hobbit so important?

The cover (again, this is the cover on the copy my daddy gave me) is a bit old-looking, yes, but I think the art is lovely. Clearly there's a wizard about to pay someone a visit. Where is this? Who is the wizard? What's going on?

10) The Knife of Never Letting Go

Patrick Ness

In my little world, the king of titles has to be Patrick Ness. I can't tell you how much I aspire to write titles as good as his. Even his chapter titles are perfect. The Chaos Walking series contains The Knife of Never Letting Go, The Ask and the Answer, and lastly Monsters of Men.

His titles are, simply put, epic. They carry weight and importance and send chills up my spine.

The cover is also well done, with the scratched-in words a nice overlay to the background of orange sky.

Hopefully this blog post has demonstrated the importance of titles and covers in the eyes of your readers.

Want to judge a book by it's cover? Agree or disagree with what I've said in this article? Feel free to leave a comment!

I Count It All As Loss

English 101 got out early today, so I might as well blog!
~~~
I've been teaching a Bible study class off of David Platt's book Radical. We're only on week two, but so far I've already been blessed just by being able to slow down and take a good long look at what real Christianity should be.
In Chapter One, he talks about the story from Matthew 13: 44-46. God has given me a new love and new wonder at this passage. So, here's the story.
A man walks out into a field. He's not doing anything important, just minding his own business. He isn't out searching; he's just there.
And he finds something.
Something beautiful sparkles up at him, just peeking through the grass and dirt.
The man gets down on his hands and knees.
What is this thing?
He begins to dig with his hands, trying to uncover the strange, beautiful item hidden in the dirt.
After a while, he sits back. His heart rams against the inside of his chest.
It is a pearl.
A massive, beautiful pearl, worth more than anything else he owns.
A pearl unlike anything he's ever seen.
Hastily he throws the dirt back over it, his mind racing with excitement. I must have this pearl.
He covers it completely before, with one last glance and the spot it is hidden, he runs back to town.
Over the next few weeks, he sells everything he owns. His house, his lands, his family treasures.
He sells them all with joy.
The community is shocked at the smile on his face as he signs off the very land he lives on.
"He's a madman! He's crazy!"
But the man keeps on smiling.
because everything he sold is loss compared to the great pearl in the field he is going to buy.
Everything else pales in comparison to the value of the pearl.

Thus is the kingdom of God.
We can lose everything on this earth, or homes, our families, our friends, our lives.
Because they are nothing compared to the all surpassing worth of Christ Jesus.
Compared to the kingdom of Heaven, all our treasures are but rags. They are all loss.
We gladly lose it all because Christ is better. We choose Him.
All is loss compared to Him.

The Past Catches Up To You

It's funny how your past comes back on you, isn't it?
I don't just mean in flashbacks or memories.
Sometimes your past really, truly does come back.
Normally it's people.
People from you past that, suddenly, walk right back into your life.
I'm normally glad to see them, but they always bring memories, and sometimes those are less than pleasant.

When I have my past come back, normally it comes in one huge wave.
Lately, I have had so many people from my past walk back in, bringing the memories with them.
A friend of mine who I didn't know all that well, but changed my life more than almost anyone else.
A friend of mine who I knew last year but haven't heard from since, due to a change in jobs.
The pastor and his family from my old church.
A dear friend of mine who I haven't heard from in two or three years, who pretty much vanished one day never to return (or so I thought).
And lastly, a friend who I, by choice, have pushed away.
The past is heavy, which is why I never choose to dwell in it. Each of these people bring so many memories. So many questions.

It makes me wonder about my life, about who I am.
Am I who I was? How have I changed? Will they still like me?

Am I proud of who I have become?
It's a heavy question, everyone.
The terrible thing is that I don't know the answer.
I don't know if I'm proud of who I have become.
If I went back three years, four years, five years and I met myself, would I be everything I wanted to be?
If I met my six year old self, would she say I am everything she ever wanted to become?
I do not know.
I can't help but feeling like I've let people down. I know I have. It's life; it happens.
Come to think of it, I'm avoiding the question.
It's not "Are they proud of who I have become?"
It's "Am I proud of who I have become?"

In this moment, I think I am.
I have come so far.
I'm still living, which in our world today, is saying something.
I am strong. I have made mistakes, but I do my best to love God and love people like I should.
I am not perfect but I am trying, with God's help, to learn and grow.
So yes. Right now, I am proud of who I have become.

The Sound of Doubt (Won't Give Up On A Dream)

Memo, Nine Lashes

If I could take what I so believe in

Draping its hand in front of me with it all

And I'm ever reaching

Straight from this heart in me

It's the tallest I've ever seen it

Strange in this place of little dreams

Like a wall in my sure to be things

Standing in spite of me

It's all I ever wanted

And I won't give up on a dream

It's all or nothing

The sound of doubt I'll never need

It's all or nothing

It happens to the best of us.

We all want to give up.

You get about halfway in and all of the sudden it's just too hard.

All the odds are against you and you know it.

You seriously consider giving up.

It's easier, isn't it? 

Forget this book. I'm a horrible writer and Ill never make it anyway. Forget this blog; no one reads it anyway. Forget this whole 'sport' thing. I'm not as good as everyone else. Forget this drawing, I suck. I'm never writing another song again. It's a waste of time. Forget being an actor; I'm too fat and I'm not even pretty. Forget trying to have an adventure. It's the corner-office job for me, to be sure.

If you think you've never said any of those things, you're either lying or way stronger than most.

Even on the things we love most in this world, was want to give up. That's just the way we are. When things get hard we'd rather forget it and carry on with our lives.

I think I should give up writing sometimes.

It happens.

I'm halfway through a horrible first draft of a fantasy novel that is so far only clocking in at 10,000 words.

Versus the 80,000 words average for that same genre.

It's discouraging.

And we all get discouraged.

You've just got to decide if it's worth it. What would your life be like without that thing you want to give up? Without your music? Without acting, cheerleading, drawing, soccer, softball, writing, graphic design, whatever is it you do?

Now look at your dream. If things came out like you wanted them to, if your dream really did come to pass, what would your life be like? What could your life be like?

Exciting, isn't it?

So don't give up. Not just on a spur of the moment, 'I'm so done with this' whim. If you feel you should move on, do so.

But moving on is not giving up. 

Never, ever, ever give up.

Because you never know what you might be giving up on.

The Cost

People are so strange.
They walk into our lives and we have no idea who they might be or what impact they may leave.
They are such adventures.
Because you never know.
You never know who they are or what their story might be.
You never know the adventures they may hold for you, the experiences they'll have with you.
And the only way to know is to live and find out.
They are so brilliant.
All walking, running, living their lives.
Growing and learning and making mistakes; always changing.
And sometimes you get the privilege of running with them. To see them, know them, love them. To discover their mysteries, all while they discover yours.
All the same.
The thrill of meeting and learning and loving does not come without cost.
Always there is a price.
The more you know them, the more you let yourself care, the more chances there are to be hurt. Maybe it's an idle word. Maybe it's a bad day.
Maybe they leave, or you have to leave them.
It's a price we all have to pay.
And I find it is well worth it.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

When the Weak Outrun the Strong

Now, this goes to follow with the story of David I just posted.
There's a verse in the Bible that I really think about a lot.
"But God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of this world to shame the strong." - 1 Corinthians 1:27
A boy with a slingshot.
That's a foolish thing, I'd say.
A whole army of strong, grown men. And not a single one of them will attempt to fight. Not even the great King Saul, the king Israel begged to have. They hide; they cower from this giant.
Then comes a shepherd. With a slingshot. Apparently intent on suicide.
Yet he faces the giant when all the "strong" ones wouldn't.
And guess what?
He wins.

We have giants in our lives, in our worlds. We have things that terrify us. That comes out every single day to taunt us. "You can't beat me," it says. "You're weak. You're foolish. You can't do this."
And they're loud. They don't ever leave us alone.
We are terrified.
We cower and we shake and we run to hide.
Maybe it's something you want to tackle that's so much bigger than you. Maybe it's a lost friend. Maybe it's hunger in your city. Maybe it's abandoned children.
Those giants. The ones that are just so big that you feel there's no hope of ever making a difference.
So you hide. Or you put it off. "Let someone else try," you say. "I'm weak and I'm foolish."
Listen to me here.
Do you know why God uses the weak and the foolish?

If He used the strong, the watching world would say they overcame by their strength. If He used the wise, the watching world would say they overcame by their wisdom. When God uses the foolish and the weak, the watching world stands amazed.
Do you see it now?
There's a world watching. They can see our giants as clear as we can.
When a weak person stands up and takes their sling against a giant. people notice.
"What is that idiot doing?" they ask. "Don't they know who they are?"
They sing a different tune when the giant falls.
"How did he do that?" "Didn't she know that was impossible?"
This brings glory to God.
This is glorifying God, my friends.

Don't fear your giants.
Because, you never know.
Maybe yours is the stone that brings the giant down.
Maybe yours is the start of a volley to follow.
When we stand up, the watching world stands amazed.

Can't you see them now?
All those shaking warriors with jaws dropped, watching as an army of the weak, poor, and broken suddenly turns from lambs to lions.
This is when they see who leads us.
This is when they see our Christ.

Choose your stones. Load your sling. Know who stands beside you. Know the power that is in you. Know it is not from you, but from God.
Do not fear.

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31